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What do you mean im OUT!!!?? He thundered

“I’m sorry, but The Board has voted”

I Built This. All of This. With my own two hands and you think you can just cast me out!?

“The Board’s decision is final”

It'll be a cold day in Hell before you keep me out of my own home

“Gabriel, please escort God off the premises”

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Jesus Christ and Other Swear Words

Stories from the Avocado Pit of Despair

Today is the 8th day and God wakes with a hangover and a Crisis. Purgatory is overflowing with indifferent souls. The Mortal Year is 2020 and life just does not look right.

God hires the dead lawyers, bankers and partners of the Big 4 Accounting Firms to consult on a solution.

…. it does not go well.


A series of connected short stories told in an A/B format.

——————————-

Can we be saved?
Will the French Bulldog Puppy ever roll over!?

Fast-paced, fun, and dripping with satire.
150 pages, 25,000 words, and every single one has a purpose.

Written in 8 days. Its the most fun I’ve ever had

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Chapter X: Crossfit vs Soulcycle ft Pontius Pilates Studio

Chapter X: Crossfit vs Soulcycle ft Pontius Pilates Studio

“I laughed so hard I needed Tums!”

“Sharply insightful and perfect topical satire”

“How are you in my head!??”

“V is genius, I started welling up at the end”

“Truly epic. I was totally sucked in. Suddenly it had been like 2 hours and it was over. The writing style is incredible. There are so many fresh metaphors. Plays on the stereotypical millennial shit but with a raw funny but sort of disturbing tone that feels new. Idk if I even digested all of it, I want to read it again!”

“Watch out for it’s vs its, otherwise its pretty good”

“Holy F”

“Laughed so hard I missed my train”

“Im waiting for my dinner-dates to arrive and decided to start into X: Crossfit. Have to go to the bathroom to clean the snot running down my lip im laughing so hard. I couldn’t stop reading it was so fun. Im done now, I fucking love it.”

“Who taught you how to write!? Jesus Max, this is incredible!”

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